Great question Lisa! There is not 1 report that does both, but two resources where you can find the information you may be looking for:
The Case for Inclusion report by United Cerebral Palsy ranks states based on waiting lists, growth to meet demand, access to services in their family home, and how many people use a home and community based waiver instead of a more institutional setting. It does not directly correlate this quantitative information with quality of life indicators. This report is helpful in making decision about being able to access services when comparing multiple states.
National Core Indicators studies quality of life and has over 100 different measures! They don’t rank states across all measures, but offers a “chart generator” which will allow you to choose states to compare different measures or you can look over NCI’s latest report which offers a ranking of states by each measure. Although there are a few states that do not use NCI, you can find important information about the quality of life of people who live in different states.
Don’t forget even if someone can access a waiver, they still may need to find affordable rental housing! The Out of Reach 2015 report ranks states based on housing affordability. If financially possible, consider investing in a home, possibly with others, or buying an apartment, accessory dwelling unit or tiny home. Find more information about public assistance to purchase your own home in the AHN Resource Directory using the filter, ‘Finding Public Assistance’: http://www.autismhousingnetwork.org/resources/